blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(Source: elderstunningham)

freckledtrekkie:

daddyslittlemistake:

clockworkturnip:

shickalenia:

the-skinny-hero-guy:

Admit it, the first thing we’d all do if we woke up gender swapped is masturbate.

I would pay money and make popcorn just to watch some of the men I’ve known in my life masturbate after being genderswapped. Not for any erotic reasons, just to see if they could even figure out how.

"wait, so which hole- what the hell- how do- *breaks down crying*"

"OW THAT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD!"

"You think?" *Eats popcorn*

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